The second this two-minute-twenty-two-second song started, I could tell it was going to be an atrocity, and after I'd heard the rest of the song, I would almost consider that first impression the most favorable one I could come up with for this song.
"That dude in the slick slacks
That city slicker didn't stand a chance
I don't know the line that came out of his mouth
But I fell in love when you knocked him out."
I think right then I was hoping that it was J Michael Harter who didn't realize that it was his ass that got knocked out for mentioning that she was "rocking them jeans like nothing I ever seen" midway through a chorus of
Where you been all my life
You're doing everything right"
Fucking hell, this song isn't just bad; this song is Florida Georgia Line bad. I honestly feel like this guy should be the third member of that group.
This is the first song I've heard from him, so I checked out a song or two from his days in his sibling act, The Harters. I was actually impressed by a song called "If I Run." It showed real potential, so it's a real shame he's branched out on his own and relegated himself to making this his first impression as a solo artist.
And not only is he trying to sing like two douchebags from Florida Georgia Line, he's trying to look like one too, as he presents himself looking entirely too much like Luke Bryan. Just look at this picture of him on the cover art of the single:
I really hope this song doesn't go anywhere. I really hope people have the good sense to ignore this shit. But I have a bad feeling before too long, this song will start rising the charts on the radio.
Please world, prove me wrong. I'm begging you.