As Michaels fights to maintain relevance in a world that no longer yearns for new music from Poison, he has done the same thing that Steven Tyler has decided to do: he’s gone country. This has been a long time coming. Hell, Alan Jackson pretty much predicted it back in 1994 in his song “Gone Country,” when he sang about individuals with failing careers making a move to country music. While Jackson noted at the time that it was just a fun song, in more modern times, it takes on a much more biting meaning of individuals who know that country is filled with fans who will drink up pretty much anything.
This is just horrible. I wish I could say that the song was forgettable enough that once it was over, it was gone from my mind, but this is just scary bad. It sounds like Michaels is auditioning to be the third member of Florida Georgia Line.
I’d be angry if I thought this would actually go anywhere. The things is, I’m pretty sure it will sell some downloads, but as far as charting anything, this song will do nothing. It will do nothing because Michaels isn’t the polished product that most big name country stars are. This is his imitation of what he thinks that is. It’s a terrible imitation of something terrible. And the result is something absolutely, unimaginably hideous.
The thing is, I’m sure if Michaels wanted to, he and the remaining members of Poison could probably put out a decent rock album. No, it might not match up to their 1980s success, but they’d be able to sell albums to a core fanbase and probably put out some decent material. Hell, REO Speedwagon put out a decent album a few years back.
But a faded 80s rock star is not meant for country music. Country music is not meant to be an avenue of last resort for those who are still desperately seeking attention that went away from them years ago.
I hope I never hear this song again. God forbid this song actually achieves any modicum of success and encourages Michaels to try more of this garbage.