And Luke Bryan wins because he threw a temper tantrum after not winning last year.
I suppose it was to be expected, but it's still an insult.
Another Milestone Award.
Not that Brooks & Dunn don't deserve it, but still...
Brooks & Dunn haven't missed a step!
So, why did Brad Paisley feel the need to start with one guitar and then switch? Just so he could toss it?
If Alan Jackson, Martina, and George Strait had been the only three performers tonight, the performances would be A+ caliber.
What song qualifies Aldean to be a nominee, let alone winner in this category? Hell, even his "walk to the stage song" is a song from three years ago!
This is just depressing. You know what I'm referring to.
Lee Brice interrupts the Miranda show and wins single of the year for "I Don't Dance."
There's a long black train (oops, I mean a long stretch of love) coming down the line as Lady Antebellum gives us some more Southern Pop.
Kenny Chesney is receiving the night's 10,000th Milestone Award.
However, before that happens, he actually gives a very solid performance.
The Miranda Lambert show continues as she wins Female Vocalist of the Year.
Cole Swindell wind New Artist of the Year.
The category where literally no nominee was deserving of winning.
I do like this Garth Brooks song.
Even though he's definitely lip-syncing. Though, in fairness, he warned us that that might happen:
Miranda Lambert wins album of the year. My hopes that it would to Dierks or Eric Church are dashed.
Has this Blake Shelton song ended yet?
Despite being only about a minute, Thomas Rhett's performance seemed endless.
The ACM just honored an admitted pop star.
Oh, and Taylor, we accepted you leaving country because we all knew you were never country to begin with.
Cole Swindell be like: "'l'll drink to a country song, but I just won't sing one."
Little Big Town performing "Girl Crush" is actually kind of a nice toned-back performance. I'm surprised that I'm actually enjoying it.
Reba is a refreshing change from Jason Aldean.
Oh, that's right, because she's actually country.
Am I the only one who sees this as just like the SuperBowl and would rather just watch the commercials at this point?
And the winner of Vocal Group of the Year is Little Big Town.
And the winner of Vocal Group of the Year should have been Zac Brown Band.
In their acceptance speech, LBT recycled a Florida Georgia Line joke from twenty minutes ago.
Is anyone actually planning on seeing "Hot Pursuit"?
Miranda Lambert is giving us two songs. One good song, and one piece of garbage. In that order.
Luke Bryan is performing and reminding us we have two and a half more hours of more shit just like this.
Martina is performing "Independence Day."
Oh, and Florida Georgia Line won Vocal Duo of the Year. But you already knew that. In my mind though, it should have gone to the un-nominated Striking Matches.
Tony Romo is introducing the next performer.
Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan are making fools of themselves.
Blake Shelton makes a masturbation joke.
Dierks Bentley is introduced playing his song "Riser." You'll rarely hear me complain about Dierks Bentley.
Thankfully Hunt only "sang" for about 90 seconds.
It was still excruciating.
Can't be too disappointed with the winner of "Song of the Year." I wish "Follow Your Arrow" had won, but "Automatic" was a good song.
Though comparing Miranda to King George is a huge stretch. Mr. Fantastic level stretch.
Is it wrong to hope the flames overtake Florida Georgia Line and burn them to death? Probably, but only because someone would find a way to replace them with something worse.
The commercial for "Elementary" cracked me up.
Blake and Luke...not so much.
Strait is given the Milestone Award. Get ready: it may very well be the only deserved award all night.
Here's George performing the classic "All My Exes Live in Texas." Always a good thing.
This leads into his fun new song "Let It Go." I don't see Elsa anywhere in the audience.
The opening performance was actually pretty solid. And now, Blake and Luke come out to take on their hosting duties.
Apparently, the audience attendance is the most attended live awards show ever.
And we kick off the event with Blake and Luke introducing Keith Urban and Eric Church dueting on Church's song "Pledge Allegiance to the Hag." I've always liked this song. Though I am wondering how many people in the audience (including the viewers) wouldn't be able to name a single Haggard song if put on the spot.